where did the SOCIAL in social media go?

I joined Twitter, and Facebook, and MySpace (although I was a bit late there) on the same day in 2007. Until then I didn't see the point.

MySpace was already pretty much dead by that point. Over the years Facebook became a way of keeping up with family and friends I knew locally. While Twitter became a place to connect with, meet, share, and learn from others with similar interests.

With many people and the friends and acquaintances, I'd made over the years, who had those interests, mostly gathered in one place it made keeping up with announcements, updates, and just general chit -chat possible. I found it reasonably easy to keep up with what was going on in the areas I was interested in. It was, of sorts, a community.

And then a bomb was set off under twitter.

With people leaving at different times and going off in different directions to different alternative apps. It became an impossibility to keep track of everyone who moved to a new platform/app. (Especially with the misinformation about sharing usernames and accounts on other platforms.)

I now have a "presence" in multiple apps (Mastadon, Blue sky, Instagram, Threads, and yes still X -- all profile links 😉) 

But none of them seem a patch on the community that existed before.

In each app there are a few accounts that I used to follow all in one place, but it seems an uncomfortable and unnecessary effort to keep opening and scrolling through each one on the chance of finding something important and/relevant. Plus each now has a terrible signal to noise ratio that is off-putting.

I've tried cross-posting across apps, but the expectations of content on each seems so different. Although I know others treat them as interchangeable--with varying results.

If I just feel the need to say something that I think/hope will get a response I'll go to Twitter/X, but then I'll feel bad because of all the people being vocal elsewhere about why they left and closed their accounts.

Yes, what Elon did to Twitter and what X has become are far from great, but I don't want to be another voice complaining.

How (and) can an online community be created that's anything like what we had in the past?

I know a bit about building communities IRL, but where and how are online communities really built?

Or should I just give up, pick one app, and start making connections again...